September 16, 2025

These tips will help you prevent making some of the most common mistakes when caring for someone with Alzheimer’s.

When Alzheimer’s enters your world, there’s no orientation session. No training video. No neat checklist that covers all the “what ifs.” You find yourself relying on instinct, grabbing advice where you can, and repeating quiet mantras like “stay calm” and “be patient.”

Then the rules seem to change overnight. What worked yesterday suddenly sparks frustration today. The conversation that flowed last week is now met with silence or confusion. That’s why it helps to know the common mistakes when caring for someone with Alzheimer’s, and how to replace them with approaches that keep both of you calmer and more connected.

We’ve compiled the top six pitfalls to effective dementia care and what to try instead:

1. Trying to Win With Logic

It’s human nature to want to “set the record straight.” You might find yourself saying, “We already ate lunch” or “That’s not how it happened.” But Alzheimer’s reshapes how the brain processes and holds onto information. Facts and timelines lose their reliability, and trying to correct them can create stress or fear.

A gentler approach: Instead of pushing against their version of reality, lean into it. If they’re eager to catch a train that hasn’t run in decades, ask where they’re headed, or what they hope to see there. Shifting from correction to curiosity can lower tension and open a door to connection.

2. Correcting Every Detail

They call you by your sibling’s name. They tell you it’s Sunday—on a Wednesday. It’s tempting to keep them “on track,” but too many corrections can feel like constant criticism. Even small inaccuracies can be harmless, and trying to fix each one can chip away at the sense of ease you’re both looking for.

A gentler approach: Focus on the heart of the interaction, not the accuracy of the facts. If a mistaken memory brings comfort, let it live in the moment.

3. Overloading With Instructions

To you, “Grab your coat, get your shoes, and meet me outside” might seem like a quick request. But for a brain navigating Alzheimer’s, three steps at once can feel like static on a radio.

A gentler approach: Offer one instruction at a time, and give space for them to process and respond. Keep your tone calm and unrushed. Think of it as walking alongside them, step by step, instead of trying to guide them from across the street.

4. Taking Behavior Changes Personally

Sometimes the person you know so well will act in ways that feel foreign—angry, suspicious, withdrawn. It can hurt, especially if your relationship was once warm and easy. But these reactions aren’t about you; they’re the visible signs of a brain under strain.

A gentler approach: Remind yourself that their affection, gratitude, and connection to you haven’t vanished. They’re simply harder to access at times. Even if the recognition isn’t there, your presence still matters.

5. Talking About Them Instead of To Them

When language becomes harder for them, it’s easy to start making decisions or answering questions on their behalf. But people living with Alzheimer’s often notice when they’re being spoken around rather than to—and it can be disheartening.

A gentler approach: Speak directly, using simple, clear language. Ask questions, make eye contact, and keep them part of the conversation, even if answers take longer or come in different forms.

6. Forgetting to Care for Yourself

Caregiving for someone with dementia can slip into a rhythm where your own needs barely register. You push through fatigue, skip breaks, and convince yourself you’ll “rest later.” But ignoring your limits only sets the stage for burnout.

A gentler approach: See your well-being as part of the care plan. Ask for help early. Explore respite care or in-home support before you feel overwhelmed. Even a short pause can restore the energy and patience that Alzheimer’s care requires.

There’s No Perfect Roadmap

Alzheimer’s care is a landscape of trial and error, unexpected challenges, and quiet victories. Some days will flow easily. Others will feel like you’re starting from scratch. That’s normal.

Your role isn’t to be flawless—it’s to keep showing up, with patience for the person you’re supporting and compassion for yourself.

You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone

At Continuum, we walk beside families through the challenges of Alzheimer’s care. Our experienced team knows how to bring structure, creativity, and calm into even the most difficult days—while giving family caregivers the breathing room they need.

We’re here for families across Chesterfield, Kirkwood, Creve Coeur, and throughout St. Louis and St. Charles counties. If you’ve been carrying this load alone, it might be time to share the weight.

Call us at (314) 863-9912 to learn how we can help create more peace, comfort, and connection for everyone involved.