September 18, 2018

Family problems between son and father

How do you overcome childhood hurt when caring for a senior parent? Learn tips in this article.

When it comes to providing senior care in St. Louis for a family member, family dynamics can play a big part in the caregiver’s outlook. For people who have been brought up by loving parents who took care of all their needs, providing the same amount of care may just be second nature. But what if you have been scarred by childhood experiences, resolved to distance yourself from difficult family members later in life, only to find yourself going back to provide care for that person in a period of need?

AARP offers some helpful suggestions for family caregivers who would like to do something to conquer old wounds in order to better provide care:

  • Develop emotional boundaries. It’s quite possible to deliver compassionate care while remaining emotionally detached. Just picture tending to the needs of someone you’d never met, and then try to keep that mindset with a challenging family member, aiming to help keep personal feelings and hurts out of the equation while meeting his or her care needs with compassion.
  • Separate yesterday from the present. While your family member might have demonstrated a pattern of causing you anguish in past times, perhaps with furious outbursts or deprecating comments, it’s vital to differentiate that pain from today’s struggles. As an example, someone with Alzheimer’s might go through a stage of aggressive behavior, which is a hallmark struggle of this disease, as opposed to a continuation of parenting mistakes.
  • Start to change what you expect. Some members of the family move into a caregiving role with the aim of changing the course of a relationship, thinking that if perhaps they let go of past hurts and give the best possible care, the individual will be transformed into someone loving, kind and respectful after a lifetime of difficulties. The simple truth is, storybook endings are quite few. Keeping expected results realistic can help reduce potential future disappointments.

Most importantly, realize that nobody has to feel “stuck” in caring for a difficult member of the family. Continuum, top providers of the senior care St. Louis families need, offers caregivers who are fully trained, experienced, and equipped to provide the highly trained and compassionate care that allows family members peace of mind. A few of the various ways we can help include:

  • Personal care assistance, such as with bathing, dressing, and using the toilet
  • Planning and creating delicious meals
  • Keeping the home environment neat and organized
  • Running errands
  • Providing transportation to health-related appointments as well as other outings
  • Companionship
  • And more

Contact us at (314) 863-9912 or online for a free in-home assessment and also to discover a senior care solution that will work for your family.